Family, friends/a social life, exercise, me time, vacation, our new house, SLEEP, grad school, work/improving myself as a teacher.
These are my "big rocks." My priorities in life.
However, why is it that I put those in my "bucket" AFTER I've tried to cram a million little rocks in there? If those truly are my priority why wouldn't I be sure they made it in first...and then whatever space and time is left over would be filled with the little things?
My mom has always told me "Natalie Jean, do NOT sweat the small stuff."
I sweat it.
Lately, I feel like I'm up to my neck in the small stuff.
When being presented with this idea of the "big rocks" and how crucial it is to prioritize those first in life it couldn't have come at a better time. I currently find myself being so encompassed by the little things that happen throughout a day in my life as a teacher, student and wife that I had very little room for the things that truly matter. Since that realization I've been trying, very hard, to put as many big rocks in my life bucket as I can and, only when those rocks have been tended to, do allow the little rocks to spill in.
I think this concept is essential to focus on because it's your big rocks in life that really matter...and life is way too short to focus on anything that doesn't really matter.
So, what are your big rocks and how do you fit them all in?
Such a reflective piece of writing, Natalie... I can just hear the wheels spinning in your head through your dialogue. My big rocks are my family, myself, my friends, and my job - not always in that order. More and more I find myself putting myself before the others simply because my health isn't always great, and if my health isn't great, I cannot give the attention to the other big rocks that I need and want to. I have found that there isn't always time for the little things, but I haven't really noticed any difference without then, other than that I have more time for other things. I had to "give myself permission" though to let go of some things. Once I internalized that message, things got easier! Keep at it...changing your inner dialogue is the first and perhaps the most important step!
ReplyDeleteI can definitely relate to you Natalie. I sweat all the small stuff too and I find life difficult and stressful often because of it. Natalie, you mentioned focusing on the big rocks and letting the little rocks go. Sometimes it feels like I don't even have time for the big rocks. And when I consider myself a "big rock," I feel like I'm being selfish. Being a teacher is a huge responsibility and so many students, parents and co-workers count on you. Becoming a parent meant I wasn't allowed to be selfish anymore...The guilt is hard to let go.
ReplyDeleteJen you made a poignant comment that it's an inner dialogue that needs to begin this journey. My "self-talk" is not always very kind or optimistic. It's hard to change yourself and I give so much credit to those who are able to make changes, break bad habits and addictions. What a strong and courageous person they must be. I know I have the potential and capabilities to change. Is it really that simple? Just changing my attitude and way I think about things...
Just wait until you have a child of your own! I was just saying to my mom " I feel like I am not doing anything well! I stink at being a mom, wife, teacher, student, daughter and friend." It is so hard to juggle the "big rocks". I have learned in the last few months that it is ok to put the "little rocks" aside and not fit it all in. My house may not be perfectly clean and my lesson plans may not look completely polished, but life will move on!
ReplyDeleteJen, Rebecca and Nicole,
ReplyDeleteIt's a very reassuring thing to hear that others struggle fitting the big rocks in too. I do feel, however, that just being able to decipher between the big and little rocks is a step in the right direction. Before being presented with that concept I felt as though EVERYthing was a big rock. I tend to be a perfectionist (which drives me nuts) so I have a hard time "letting things go." However, hearing Jen say how letting the little rocks go really had no impact, just more time for the big rocks, makes it seem much more appealing! I've always worried that by letting things go it meant I was "slacking" or not giving it my all. However, I think the more things I refuse to let go of, the more areas I'm spread too thin in. When I choose to put the majority of my attention towards one or two rocks, I feel the other rocks fall to the wayside. It's definitely a balancing act and a work in progress...if only rocks weren't so hard to balance!!