After reading and reflecting on "The Principle of Trust" from Houston and Sokolow's The Spiritual Dimension of Leadership one thing that really jumped out at me is the idea that "trust is to people as water is to plants;" we all need to trust and to feel trusted in order to thrive.
However, another idea that resonated with me, and one that I agree with, is trust is not an easy thing to maneuver. Some people have been burned so badly that they enter into a new relationship, whether it be personal or work related, with a lack of trust...before ever exploring the option that this person might actually be trustworthy. Houston and Sokolow explain the importance of trusting that people are innately good and remind us that "the very act of trusting people unleashes a powerful force that empowers them and brings out the best in them...when people feel trusted, they tend to behave in a trustworthy manner and give more of themselves," (pg. 131-132).
I've seen this play out many times over the past five years in my classroom. I start every school year trusting each one of my students and try to present them with opportunities that show how much I trust them. I know many teachers don't allow students to go near their desk or *gasp* IN it...but I am constantly asking my kids to get something from behind or in my desk...knowing very well that there are things in there that may tempt them. However, only twice have I experienced a break in this trust when something (a piece of candy and a calculator) went missing. I caught one of the students in action and, instead of yelling or even writing her up, I simply told her how disappointed I was because we had spent almost the entire year in a trusting relationship and that was now broken. I've never had a student cry like she did! I have her in my class again this year (having looped up) and she still brings up "that time when she broke my trust." She's worked very hard ever since then to earn it back and I think we have a very strong relationship because of it.
Some of my very best relationships, including my marriage, are based on a strong foundation of trust. I don't believe this would be the case were I not a trustworthy person myself. This is something I strive very hard to maintain and hope to continue instilling this in my students, and my own children, for many years!
Natalie,
ReplyDeleteYou are so right...TRUST is so important. Beginning the school year, showing your students that you trust them and they can trust you, can have a huge impact of their success at school and with other relationships. I find myself at times maybe being too trusting in others, but if they don't give me a reason to doubt that, I will trust them until there is a reason. Great post...it was very interesting to read!